The Power of Storytelling: Reframing Our Narratives

We have a choice in how we tell our stories—the narratives we create and the emotions we attach to them. Victim mentality is something that has grown a lot in recent years. It’s a mindset I feel both saddened by and grateful for. Grateful that so many can now acknowledge and share their truths openly. Saddened that they struggle to reframe their stories, unable to see the growth and change that is still possible.

My own story is one I’ve often begrudged writing down, fearful that it might sound like a plea for pity. I don’t want pity. I don’t need it. What I want is to show others what’s possible when they think there’s no way forward.

I was born to a mother who, I believe, battled postnatal depression after her first child. She functioned, but barely. She had little sense of self. I wasn’t starving, but I wasn’t nourished. I had clothes, but no proper care. I had material things that other kids didn’t, but I lacked the emotional support I desperately needed.

My mother was addicted to alcohol and over-the-counter medication—something I didn’t recognise as a child. You don’t realise what’s “wrong” until it’s already taken hold of you.

They say we learn from those around us, that our behaviours are shaped by what we see. But what happens when what you see is chaos? When the patterns you learn are survival-based, rooted in fight or flight?

By the time I was 16, my adrenal system was burned out. Therapy brought me a diagnosis of PTSD. I had endured emotional, physical abuse and neglect. Up until that point, much of my life felt like it was out of my hands. Choices weren’t a luxury I had.

At 17, I hit a pivotal moment. Standing in a hospital with my mother, a nurse pulled me aside and said, “Get out. Leave. If you stay, you’ll never get a chance at life. You’ll get stuck in theirs.” That was the turning point.

At 17, I left. I got a flat and began building a life—one far removed from the circumstances that had set me up to fail.

The Power of Reframing

Now, when things come up that in the first instance seem negative, I look for what I can learn. How I can use it to grow. It wasn’t always easy to adopt this mindset, but over time, I realised that the way we describe our past doesn’t just colour our memories—it actively shapes our future.

My need and want to succeed have led to an unrelenting thirst for self-improvement. Books, courses, and every tool I could find have become my companions on this journey. Each step has shown me the transformative power of reframing—of choosing the narrative through which I see my past.

By viewing my story not as one of pity but as one of resilience, I’ve given myself permission to grow beyond it. The lessons, no matter how painful, have become stepping stones rather than roadblocks. Every reframe has rewritten not just my story but the possibilities for what comes next.

So I ask you this:

Think about how you tell your story. Write it down. Then look at the language you use, the view in which you choose on it. Could you change it to be a story to inspire instead of invoking pain?

Choosing Growth

I’ve always wanted more. Dreamed bigger. Where that spark came from, I’ll never know. But it’s there—a need to grow, to evolve, to level up. Giving up was never an option for me, and it never will be.

Now, I see my story as one of strength. It’s a testament to my determination, my drive, my resilience. It’s shaped me into a capable, steadfast individual. And because of that, I’ve had the privilege of achieving incredible things.

The thing about growth is that it’s never comfortable. Growth requires you to sit with the hard stuff—to confront your pain, your mistakes, your fears—and choose to move forward anyway. It’s not about perfection; it’s about persistence.

Though my story isn’t one I would wish on anyone else, I wouldn’t change it. It’s taught me that I am capable of surviving, thriving, and achieving far beyond what anyone might expect.

A Challenge for You

This is what I want to share: No matter where you begin, no matter how impossible it seems, there’s always room for growth. But growth requires action.

Take a moment to reflect. Write down your story—not the one you tell others, but the one you tell yourself. Then ask:

• What language do I use?

• How do I frame the events?

• Can I see this story as a source of strength, a reason to grow, instead of a source of pain?

Your story is yours to rewrite. Choose a narrative that empowers you, one that reminds you of your strength. Growth isn’t just possible; it’s inevitable when you embrace it.

Remember, the hardest battles often lead to the greatest transformations. You are capable of more than you think. And with every choice to reframe, to grow, and to believe in your ability to rise, you’re rewriting not just your past, but your future.