Gratitude - Choosing What You Focus On

Have you ever let your thoughts cascade like a waterfall? It starts with a small hiccup—perhaps a teabag missing the cup—and suddenly your mind spirals into a torrent of negativity. The water splashes the counter, the dog is underfoot, and the pillows are out of place. Before long, everything feels irritating, and it seems as if the whole day is going wrong.

But is it really? Or has your focus shifted to only see the negative? Did you miss the beauty around you—the flowers blooming overnight, the glow of the sunrise through your kitchen window, or the perfect taste of your tea this morning?

I had one of those mornings today. I woke up with a tension in my chest, the kind that threatens to ruin everything. Why? If I knew, it might help, but I don’t. What I do know is that it’s a choice. As much as this tightness tried to overshadow my coffee, it didn’t succeed.

Gratitude has become a practice that grounds me in ways I couldn’t have imagined. What they don’t tell you in self-help books is that gratitude unlocks a range of feelings—love being the most transformative. Gratitude has taught me to love myself, love others, love the struggles I face, and, most importantly, feel loved.

In a world designed to distract us, practicing gratitude helps us return to ourselves, to the good, the positive, and the abundant.

My bookshelf is lined with classic self-help books: Think and Grow Rich, The Courage to Be Disliked, The Mountain Is You, and countless others. Each has its unique wisdom, but they all circle back to similar truths. Gratitude is one of those recurring themes.

Yet, I can’t pinpoint exactly when gratitude became an everyday practice for me. I’ve never been the type to read something once and immediately implement it. Instead, I test ideas, adapting them to my life. Gratitude was first introduced to me through Think and Grow Rich years ago. Back then, I struggled with the concept. My life felt chaotic, my self-worth fragile. How could I be grateful when everything seemed so hard?

At the time, I stuck to the basics: “I’m grateful for food,” “I’m grateful for my legs to walk.” Even those felt hollow. I couldn’t see the smaller, beautiful things through the weight of life’s struggles.

But gratitude is persistent. It resurfaced in books, podcasts, and conversations. Revisiting Think and Grow Rich reminded me again of its importance. This time, I gave it another chance.

Journaling—another common self-help recommendation—was a struggle too. I’ve never liked my own handwriting, and I’ve tried every way imaginable to avoid traditional journaling. Yet I always come back to it. Now, I journal because I’ve learned it’s worth the discomfort.

I started simply, listing basic things: my health, my job, my legs. Over time, my practice evolved. Gratitude became a structured part of my journaling. What surprised me most was how my entries transformed.

At first, they were broad and impersonal, but gradually, they became deeply specific and emotional. I began expressing gratitude for my mindset, my energy, my friendships, and my opportunities. And with that came an unexpected emotion: love.

I’ve realized that gratitude isn’t always natural. Being thankful is easy, but truly feeling gratitude requires practice. It asks us to see abundance and meaning, even in failures. It’s easier to stay angry than to appreciate what a challenge might teach us.

For me, gratitude bridged a gap in connection. For years, I felt isolated and misunderstood, my relationships strained. Practicing gratitude has shown me how much love and support I have, how many moments of connection I would have missed if I’d stayed stuck in negativity.

Now, I love journaling. It’s not just a routine; it’s a reminder of how lucky I am and how loved I am. Each entry brings a sense of clarity and appreciation, allowing me to experience more joy and connection in everyday life.

I’m not perfect at reframing, but when negativity creeps in, I can pause and ask: What am I grateful for?

And in that moment, everything shifts.